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1. The Ring

In football, you earn a ring that’s worth five figures for being the best.

In marriage, you buy a ring for someone else that’s worth four to five figures simply to avoid being the worst.

2. The Market

Rocky football season? No problem, just improve the situation by hitting the market during the offseason and picking up some fresh young prospects.

Rocky marriage? You probably want to avoid picking up fresh young prospect. In fact, that can come back and haunt your salary cap later on during the divorce hearings.

3. Watch and Grow

Improving in football includes watching tape of more football and attending football games.

Improving your marriage often means watching crap like Grey’s Anatomy and attending youth soccer games.

4. History

The more teams you’ve been with prior to your current club can mean the more diversified and experienced you are.

The more women you’ve been with prior to your marriage…well, technically it’s still “the more diversified and experienced you are” but the implications are very different.

5. The Personnel

In football, you have the freedom to solve problems by firing a head coach, benching a quarterback, or releasing a player. If your fourth-year kicker is hurting the team by not living up to expectations, he’s gone.

With marriage, you’re imprisoned to working on problems by attending family counseling, communicating better, or trying to change certain behaviors. If your fourth grade son is stressing out the family by not doing what he’s told, there’s no waiving him. It’s like he has a guaranteed contract…

6. The Offseason

One has it and the other doesn’t. Pretty straight forward.

7. The Prep Period

If you go 0-4 in the preseason and screw things up every which way, it’s no big deal because it doesn’t count. You still head into the regular season on the same level as everyone else.

But if you anger her routinely during your engagement and screw things up every which way, it is a big enough deal that all bets can be off. You don’t head into your wedding with a clean slate because there no longer is a wedding. The NFL preseason is a test that you can’t fail. Your engagement is a test that you can fail.

8. The Officials

As a football player, when you make a mistake and draw a penalty flag, your head coach complains. A referee tells you what you did wrong and marks off the appropriate yardage for you. Then you replay the down. Pretty simple. Penalties can hurt, but at least they’re over and done with.

When you screw up as a husband and draw a sit down conversation, your wife complains. An expensive marriage counselor tells you what you did wrong and highlights some areas in your life to work on. Oh, and those areas to work on can’t simply be stepped off – and they don’t come with a replayed down, either. They’re a painful, drawn out “growing process.”

9. The Timing

If you’re standing at the line of scrimmage ready to play the next down and the quarterback is still in the huddle and just won’t finish calling the play, you can trust that a five-yard delay of game penalty will hurry his ass up.

If you’re sitting in the driveway ready to go to the company picnic and the wife is still in the bathroom and just won’t finish doing her hair, you can trust that you’ll be sitting in that driveway for God knows how long.

10. The Timing Part II

At the same time, if a play is over and you’re just ready to go back to the sideline, you know that there is a 15-yard personal foul penalty for anyone who continues to go at it afterwards.

If you’re at that company picnic and just ready to go home, you know there is a 15-minute waiting period (minimum) while “the Mrs.” Continues to jabber with uninteresting friends and colleagues.

Matt Field
TenYards.com Sports Editor

I realize that every guy is different, but for the most part, guys love sports. We love to play sports. We love to watch sports. We love to read about sports. We love to talk about sports.

On the flip side, women aren’t into sports like men are. Oh sure, there are gals out there who are crazy about sports. However, I’m sure it’s safe to say that by in large, guys are into sports much more than gals.

So where am I going with this?

It’s a sad truth that in our society,  a husband’s addiction to sports has caused more than one marital problem. It’s hard to spend quality time with your wife when the TV is constantly tuned to ESPN. So guys, a key to having a quality marriage (assuming you’re a typical sports nut) is finding a way to enjoy sports without blowing off your wife and kids—which is not an easy task for some, but it can be done.

Here are four ideas on how to enjoy your sports addiction while still being a good husband and dad…

1. Start a Sports Schedule or Routine

   Sorry guys, but you can’t use sports as an escape from life. Meaning it’s not okay to come home, plop your butt on the sofa, and watch ESPN until bed. At least not if you expect to have a happy marriage.

   Instead of just tuning in (to sports) and then tuning out (your family), make a sports schedule and keep the routine. If you enjoy watching Sports Center daily, pick a time to watch early in the morning or after the kids have gone to bed, and then stick to that. Using a DVR to record and watch it later is also helpful.

   If you play in a fantasy league or like to read sports news/blogs online, then keep that activity confined to a specific time of the day as well. This way your family will know they can spend time with you the rest of the day, and they won’t feel shutout by Sports Center.

2. Let your Family Know About Upcoming Games you Plan to Watch

   Obviously a routine doesn’t work when it comes to game 5 of the NBA Finals. And face it, you’re not a serious sports nut if you don’t watch playoff games in the sports you follow. Since these playoff games can come at odd times and are not always predictable, just let your family know ahead of time there’s a big game on TV tomorrow night, and you’d really like to watch it.

   (And no gals… in case you were wondering… it’s not cool to DVR a live playoff game and watch it later… sorry!)

   As long as you don’t overdo it and have to watch “important games” several nights a week all year long, then your family should be understanding. You might even use these games as an opportunity to teach your kids about the joy of watching sports, by getting them involved (more on that point in a bit).

3. Ask for Permission Before Joining a Sports League (including fantasy leagues)

   I know… I know… we men don’t feel we should have to ASK our wives if it’s okay to play for our company softball team this summer, or ask our wives if it’s okay to join another fantasy football league this fall. But think about it this way, those activities can consume a lot of your time and energy. How would you feel if your wife started a hobby or activity that kept her away from the house every Saturday afternoon—leaving you behind to watch the kids—and she didn’t even bother to ask if you were okay with it? Yeah, she doesn’t like that either.

   So do the right thing and ask for permission whenever your sports addiction is going to take a lot of time or cost a lot of money. What if your buddies invite you to go with them to the baseball game tonight? Ask your wife if she minds. What if your pastor asks you to join the church intramural volleyball league? Check with your wife first and make sure she’s okay with it.

4. Get your Family Involved in Sports

   Getting your family involved in sports can be the hardest to accomplish, but is the best way to accommodate both your sports addiction and your family. Perhaps you can ask them if they’d like to watch the big playoff game together as a family, taking the opportunity to teach your kids (and wife) about the rules and intricacies of the game. There’s a good chance your wife would go along with the idea if instead of just YOU watching the game by yourself, you turned it into a family activity.

   Other ideas are taking the entire family to a baseball game on family night… getting your kids involved in junior football, baseball, or gymnastics… reading sports news to your baby or toddler… (hey why not?)

   Just be creative and find ways to involve the family in your passion for sports. It’ll be a win-win for both them and you.

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It’s wedding season and most of the NFL is still on vacation. What better time to reveal this?

This is part of the all new Prevent Defense series, examining football and women. Some call it football humor, some just don’t get it.

 

One Man’s Perspective

1. The Ring

In football, you earn a ring that’s worth five figures for being the best.

In marriage, you buy a ring for someone else that’s worth four to five figures simply to avoid being the worst.

 

2. The Market

Rocky football season? No problem, just improve the situation by hitting the market during the offseason and picking up some fresh young prospects.

Rocky marriage? You probably want to avoid picking up fresh young prospect. In fact, that can come back and haunt your salary cap later on during the divorce hearings.

 

3. Watch and Grow

Improving in football includes watching tape of more football and attending football games.

Improving your marriage often means watching crap like Grey’s Anatomy and attending youth soccer games.

 

4. History

The more teams you’ve been with prior to your current club can mean the more diversified and experienced you are.

The more women you’ve been with prior to your marriage…well, technically it’s still “the more diversified and experienced you are” but the implications are very different.

 

5. The Personnel

In football, you have the freedom to solve problems by firing a head coach, benching a quarterback, or releasing a player. If your fourth-year kicker is hurting the team by not living up to expectations, he’s gone.

With marriage, you’re imprisoned to working on problems by attending family counseling, communicating better, or trying to change certain behaviors. If your fourth grade son is stressing out the family by not doing what he’s told, there’s no waiving him. It’s like he has a guaranteed contract…

 

6. The Offseason

One has it and the other doesn’t. Pretty straight forward.

 

7. The Prep Period

If you go 0-4 in the preseason and screw things up every which way, it’s no big deal because it doesn’t count. You still head into the regular season on the same level as everyone else.

But if you anger her routinely during your engagement and screw things up every which way, it is a big enough deal that all bets can be off. You don’t head into your wedding with a clean slate because there no longer is a wedding. The NFL preseason is a test that you can’t fail. Your engagement is a test that you can’t fail.

 

8. The Officials

As a football player, when you make a mistake and draw a penalty flag, your head coach complains. A referee tells you what you did wrong and marks off the appropriate yardage for you. Then you replay the down. Pretty simple. Penalties can hurt, but at least they’re over and done with.

When you screw up as a husband and draw a sit down conversation, your wife complains. An expensive marriage counselor tells you what you did wrong and highlights some areas in your life to work on. Oh, and those areas to work on can’t simply be stepped off – and they don’t come with a replayed down, either. They’re a painful, drawn out “growing process.”

 

9. The Timing

If you’re standing at the line of scrimmage ready to play the next down and the quarterback is still in the huddle and just won’t finish calling the play, you can trust that a five-yard delay of game penalty will hurry his ass up.

If you’re sitting in the driveway ready to go to the company picnic and the wife is still in the bathroom and just won’t finish doing her hair, you can trust that you’ll be sitting in that driveway for God knows how long.

 

10. The Timing Part II

At the same time, if a play is over and you’re just ready to go back to the sideline, you know that there is a 15-yard personal foul penalty for anyone who continues to go at it afterwards.

If you’re at that company picnic and just ready to go home, you know there is a 15-minute waiting period (minimum) while “the Mrs.” Continues to jabber with uninteresting friends and colleagues.